Day by Day
by pink pearl mew
Summary: Mai needs to say goodbye...to everything.
1. Chapter 1

With a sigh Mai closes her eyes, counts to ten before reopening them and scanning the blank page before her; the page which was to hold her final thoughts. There were so many things to say, to do. Her thoughts swam back to when she lived at the orphanage, to her friends and...her 'family'; the SPR team. They treated her like normal and welcomed her with warm, opened arms. Just remembering brought tears to her eyes for the first time since she found out her condition, she let the crystals run down her face. Remembering the task at hand, Mai hastily wiped away the tears. With renewed determination to finish in her eyes; she picked up the pen and began to write

_To Naru..._

As stealthily as she could Mai snuck into the office...late. Her red eyes scanned the room and walked (ran) over to the door next to the little kitchen. She clutched even tighter on the manila envelope in her arms as if it would fly away. She reached out to the handle. Quickly and quietly she closes the door. Lin, who had previously been staring at his laptop, looked up.

Despite little interaction between the two, they've become friends and Mai became reliant on Lin when she was troubled. Lin froze at the sight of her. Her eyes red with dark rings, her clothes which were usually neat and carefully co-ordinated was wrinkled and same as yesterdays, and she seemed to breathe unevenly with the eyes of a rabbit, pleading for help. _Had someone hurt her?_ Anger rose up within him. Mai finally felt a bit more relaxed and fatigue over took and sleep wanted to catch up with her, now. With a soft thump Mai fell to the ground. Hurriedly, Lin rose from his seat and went over to her. He let out a sigh of relief as her saw a normal Mai just sleeping peacefully. Easily lifting her up, he placed her on the sofa in his office. Worried, he looked at the manila envelope. In there could contain answers to his questions. Without thinking of the consequences, he opened it, pulled out the pages and read.

He kept reading despite realising the problem. He couldn't stop himself. An overwhelming sense of sadness and desperation came alive. Realisation washed over. He turned to face Mai. She suddenly seemed so fragile and delicate. Mai, his Mai, _when did she become mine? Never that's when,_ he sternly told himself. Naru and Mai had been a couple for a while now. Realising long ago (along with the others) how Mai felt about Naru. Not long afterwards the two became an item; Lin had held himself back. He wanted things to turn out well for her, but he promised himself if she came to him needing him he would not help, but he knew very well he wouldn't. He may seem like a calm person but inside he was still a man. He knows he shouldn't but Mai was like a rose. No rose was without its thorns. Yet once he's plucked the rose he cannot put it down. Unconsciously his hand strayed to shift strands of hair from Mai's face. Staring at Mai, oh vulnerable Mai, just one kiss and he'll give up for good. Lin lowered his face closer and within a mere breath's-width and he would claim her lips.

It would have happened had Naru not opened the door at that point. He froze at the scene of his beloved lying asleep and his trusted assistant in a situation that should not happen. He just couldn't comprehend how this had happened. The two men remained in a stare-down. Mai's hand suddenly shot up to grip onto Lin's shirt. In a tiny and sweet whisper, that was only Mai's, said "Lin..." Lin's heart skipped beats, all emotions raw on his face. Naru slammed the door and left missing the second half of her message "please...help." as tears began to roll from her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

He knew he shouldn't have hope yet his heart would not be persuaded to give. He sat down on the edge of the sofa with his arm pressing against the back of the sofa. Lin seemed to freeze in the position as he continued to argue with himself. Finally Mai seemed to begin to stir. She slowly sat up while rubbing tears away from her eyes. Lin's attention strayed from his thoughts as the sofa started to shift beneath him. He looked at Mai. Her movements just made her seem all the more fragile. He didn't think to stop himself. He just moved forward, wrapping his arms around her little body and rested his head in the crook of her neck with his lips ever so slightly making contact with her skin.

In that moment he realised, he really had to let go of her. His love for her was overwhelming but he could never impose that upon her and ask her to turn to him instead, it would crush her. He knew Mai well enough to chance a good guess in how she'll react and what the results would be. After it's resolved, everything would seem like it never happened but the awkwardness will remain. Lin's resolve to turn his love for her as a woman to a different love was stronger than ever. He couldn't feel it but he knew that his heart was becoming lighter and stronger as the weight of love is making its leave. The tears flowed down from Mai's eyes, along her jaw line and made its landing on Lin's face. Not only had she hurt Naru and used Lin but she's also caused the two to fight. With shock, Lin pulled away from her with an apology. Mai cried even harder knowing because she's caused another misunderstanding.

"It's not your fault," Mai managed to muffle out "I'm sorry, I used you." Lin stopped and contemplated the thought. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll be right back." Lin said in a low tone. Mai nodded in acknowledgement as she tried to stop the tears. Lin stepped out of his office and headed to the kitchenette where he pulled out a wooden box from one of the cupboards. _He must be really angry at me for that. I'll have to explain it to him soon._She went to pick up the forgotten envelope and its papers.

Minutes later Lin returned with a tray. Balanced on the tray was a glass teapot and two cups. As he set the tray down onto his desk Mai could see inside the glass teapot was a flower. It was beautiful, it was simple and white yet it was elegant and spoke out with many words in its own way. The sight took Mai's mind off of things. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent it. Reopening them Lin held a cup for her. With a small thank you she took the cup, blew across the top and drank a little. The combination of the sight, smell and taste brought a little smile, but it soon disappeared as she questioned herself when was the last time she smiled. She clutched the warm cup in her hand a little tighter and began to gather the strength to tell him.

"I read it." said Lin. Silence he could take but a guilty conscience was another story, sure he had done other things he felt he shouldn't have but this was lying to someone he loves, who placed their trust in him. Mai lowered her gaze and nodded. Lin blinked. He blinked again.

"You left the papers out of the envelope." Mai stated


	3. Chapter 3

Lin let out a little chuckle, soft and low. _I'm getting careless_. Mai relaxed.

"I need to say goodbye to everything. I don't have much time left." Lin tensed. He didn't want those papers to be true. Lin sat there staring at her as he absorbed the spoken piece of text. He already knew but someone saying it out loud was like the words was released, the chaos within its depth was swallowing her and taking her away. "I'm sorry but could you please help me. It's a difficult task and…and…" Mai began to mumble on becoming more and more embarrassed. Lin understood, he went over and gave Mai a pat on the head. Mai stopped and stared up at him, her eyes did the asking. Lin knew she was using him for Naru, but he didn't care. He nodded. Mai's heart felt a heavy burden leave but another began to replace its predecessor. "But you cannot tell him."

"What about after?" Lin softly asked. Mai paused.

"That is up to you. I'm sorry, this must be very difficult for you." _Indeed it is Mai, but not only because Naru is my friend but also because I love you. _Lin gave a smile of reassurance, sealing their deal.

Naru sat at his desk. There was a silence for a long while, and then the squeaky cabinet in the kitchenette could be heard along with the boiling water. He then heard him return to his room and he didn't know whether it was paranoia or real but he could hear their smiles. _Smiles? I must be getting tired; I was probably seeing things then._ With that he brushed of the scene he had walked in on as an illusion created within his mind. Why? He has no clue. He felt everything was settled and returned to his routine.

"Mai, tea." _Some things won't change_. He smirked at the though of what he was going to do to Mai when she brought him his tea.

Upon hearing the first note of _his_ voice Mai flinched. Oh, how she hated to lie especially to Naru, but she has to be strong afraid the truth would do him more harm than this wretched lie. Standing in the kitchenette taking deep breaths to calm herself otherwise she'll be found out and Naru would be scarred.

Approaching his door, Mai put on a mask of indifference and prayed. She knocked on twice before opening the door. Silently, watching the tea, she walked to his desk and set the tea down. Holding the serving tray close to her torso she looked up and opened her mouth to speak only to realise that the narcissist was not at his seat. It was also after that moment Mai found arms snaking its way from behind to nestle themselves around her waist. She silently prayed for strength .


	4. Chapter 4

He was so close, so vulnerable...and trusting. I'm sorry.

"You're tense."

"Shibuya-san, stop it." Her voice came out so cold, so calculating. It shocked them both. Mai's heart rose and sank. She would be able to trick him, to protect him. "We need to talk." Confused Naru let go, walked around the desk and sat down staring at her with eyes to match her tone.

"Explain yourself, Miss Taniyama," thinking it another game. She lowered her gaze and recited those words that break the magic spell binding the two together.

"Let's end it." Naru would have fallen of his chair had he not been him. He though back to all their memories together, she never once showed a sign of wanting to leave and now... No he will not allow it to end here just like that. He jumped out of his chair and grabbed the leaving Mai's wrist. "Let go." Although a cliché he held on tighter. "You're hurting me" _both physically and mentally_.

"Not until you tell me why." Her eyes looked up at his. She really wanted to tell him but then all the planning would become useless. True all the plans she made in the past relating to Naru never worked out the way she wanted but this time it was her final attempt to outsmart Naru. Her last challenge, no, her second to last challenge; for she had no doubt that Naru would find out after. Tears formed in her eyes. She tried to turn her head away but Naru's other hand held it where it was. "Answer me...ple..." his eyes had darkened, the final light hoping that she was joking began to fade as Ayako walked into the room, naturally already on Mai's side, she walked in and pushed him away from her. Taking her hand she took Mai away from him just like that. The two headed towards the door. _No I can't just let Mai go like this. _ He pulled himself together and reached his office doorway. There he could see it. Mai embraced by Lin.

"You two hurry up, stop acting lovey dovey here." Followed by an irritated comment "it makes me feel like I'm a mother giving away her daughter." With that said the two left the office, Lin's arm round Mai. Naru dropped to his knees. So that was it, she didn't love him but was using him to get to Lin. She was like all the others using him to get to either his twin or Lin. No different. How could he not have seen that? He got up, went to his seat and sat down. _No, Mai's not that type. That means it was Lin who seduced her to be with him instead._ As he glanced round all he saw was the places he and Mai had been. All her smiling faces as though to haunt him. He flipped his desk; papers filled the floor, photos spewed from the middle draw and his laptop, where he had kept all their pictures and videos, as though to get back at him, started to replay the time when Mai had a new camera and they were trying it out. They were in Taiwan at the time. Lin's family friend had requested them as a favour. They had finished the job when Mai declared she wanted to get a camera. The two went and bought one and travelled to a place known as the water maze where local teens rumours say if one could traverse across the maze and not fall in then the couple were a divine couple, a pair who were meant to be. Having lost in a game of rock, paper, scissors Mai was to cross over to Naru. During her whole challenge Naru had filmed it all. All her expressions captured. The laptop's battery died as Mai was two steps from him. Even though the screen was black, Naru could still see the scene playing before him, the face of Mai when she made it. The image wouldn't fade, he didn't want to let go of her hand. _Mai, please don't leave me, please. _He wished he could've said those words; his pride was no longer an issue. All Naru wanted was her by his side again and never to leave him, he will not let her go. As he began to plot how to take Mai from Lin he began to clean his office.

The fight, of who Mai belongs to, begins now.


	5. Chapter 5

Lin Drove. Ayako stayed unusually silent, yet she kept a tight hold of Mai's hand. By now Mai detected that Ayako knew, there was little doubt about it. Mai could felt disheartened that she's caused so much unrest as there was, so much pain, she was sorry. Ayako gave Mai's a hand a little squeeze of encouragement. When Mai didn't respond she looked over. Mai had passed out and breaking into a sweat.

"Lin hurry!" Lin didn't ask why, he could hear Ayako's desperation in her voice. He drove as fast as he could with worry brewing.

Arriving at Lin's apartment, Lin carried Mai. Quickly opening the door Ayako followed Lin to the guest room and rested Mai on the double bed. As soon as he stopped touching Mai, Ayako pushed him out telling him to make tea while she changed Mai out of her damp clothes and into some a spare set of clothes before burying her under a thick duvet. Lin knocked on the door carrying a bit of medicine, a bottle of water and a small bag of ice. Ayako gently shook Mai awake, gave her a painkiller and told her to drink slowly. Afterwards she let Mai fall back to sleep, while placing the bag of ice gently on her forehead. Ayako sat on the side of the bed watching Mai have nostalgic dreams. She's seen this many times before when Mai would over think and heat up but never has it got this extreme when she would pass out. Ayako couldn't stop her tears flowing at that point, she knew Mai was only going to get weaker and weaker till eventually she… God, she didn't want to think about it. Why was the world so cruel to her? When all she did was give it her best and tried to smile through it all. Lin placed a hand on her shoulder and made a gesture to follow him out of the room.

Lin had explained Mai's situation and her wishes that her condition was to be kept secret from Naru over some coffee. Ayako didn't even touch her drink. She waited for it to all sink in. It's one thing to read on a medical file, but it's something else completely when you hear it in words.

"I'll drive you home now." It wasn't a question. Lin knew that Ayako will need time to let it sink in. He'll give a call to Bou-san to ask him to check on her later. Ayako began collecting her act together while she followed Lin to the car. It was a silent and long journey home. When she got in she just sat in front of the TV in the dark staring in a trance at the black screen thinking.

Why is the world so cruel?

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the long awaited update! -gets on hands and knees-**

**The reason why I haven't uploaded for so long? It's embarrassing (/) ... I had forgotten my password. Orz**

**But along my journey of long self discovery on the way, I have remembered and I wish to continue to improve my writing. **

**Thank you for your support. v(^w^)v**


	6. Chapter 6

Naru had followed them out of the office and followed them in his car. He recognized the roads. They were all heading to Lin's place. Just when he was stuck behind changing traffic lights, Lin's car sped up ahead. _Shit, was I noticed?_ He jumped as soon as the lights turned amber and raced towards Lin's house. He parked down the street to Lin's place, got out and ran to see Lin carrying Mai inside. From his distance it looked like Mai had simply fallen asleep in the car. The anger in him moved closer to the surface. Lin was touching Mai, was holding her in a way only he, Naru, can hold her.

Time moved on and Lin emerged with Ayako and the two of them left in the car. Naru saw the opportunity and when through the security and up to Lin's place. He patted his pockets for house keys only to remember they had been on his desk at work. He hit his fists against the door. _Mai will hear and she'll open it and see me, she always does._ The next door neighbour's door started to click and the lock could be heard being unhooked. Naru knew he couldn't be caught now and ran to the fire escape stairs.

He waited there thinking, _what am I doing? If Mai used him to get to Lin did she even love him to begin with? Was giving her first kiss to him just a tool? _His back hit the wall. His face fell into his hands. He needed to leave and think.

He stalked off back to his car absent mindedly.

_What if I really have to let her go?_


	7. Chapter 7

Since the news, Ayako had become like a doll, sitting still in the darkness. Her mind was in conflict. _How had Mai progressed so much and not told anyone? She's fighting all alone. What can I do?_ _ Why didn't Mai tell me?_

Bou-san knocked on the door feeling awkward. It worried him that Lin would go through the trouble of contacting him outside office hours about something un-SPR related. All the more when he said Ayako was in shock over some news. Bou-san didn't even manage to ask what it was before Lin hung up on him. So here he was, after band practise, at her apartment. He knocked again; still no answer. Not even a sound of clothes moving. He tried the door knob; to his surprise it willingly opened, allowing him access to her home.

The place was dark. He patted around the walls for the light switch while calling to Ayako. When his only reply was sniffles in the dark, he hastens to find the light switch. He finally switched the lights on, he could make out Ayako's figure in the living room area. Cautiously he made his way to her, as he crouched down near her she leapt into his arm and let forth a new wave of tears. Bou-san could do nothing but hold her in his arms and whisper cooing words to calm her.

Ayako had been sitting there for 2 hours before Bou-san arrived; her eyes red and swollen. As she calmed, Bou-san left to make her a cup of tea. Ayako didn't touch the tea. Instead as he set it down on the coffee table, Ayako began telling a little story of how she when she was child she wanted to become a princess and have a knight always there for her, to hold her when she's cold, tired, scared and there to tell her he loved her. How she wanted a fairytale like life that was consistent and stable. Not like how it was, where she and her siblings were neglected, when plans with papa was cancelled because of a sudden emergency.

"I wonder what sorts of thing Mai wished for when she was younger." Ayako can feel tears welling up again but she refused to let them fall. Bou-san was rather confused why Ayako was suddenly so…defenceless, telling him things about her past. Also he worried how Mai fitted into the story. It doesn't take a genius to work out Ayako was crying over something that concerned Mai. _Should I pry? Or will she tell me?_ A low grumbling came from his stomach. Ayako gave a small smile of relief from the tension. "What would you like to eat? I'm not a good cook but I've got a bunch of menus." As she said that she pulled out a pile of menus from the draw in the coffee table.

"How about I cook? I'm pretty handy in the kitchen." He gave a boyish grin. Homemade food would make anyone feel better.

After dinner they sat down looking out the balcony window. The city was practically emitting life. It began to rain. They just sat there watching the rain fall. It was a comfortable silence between them. She rested and calmed in Bou-san's embrace, while he sat there waiting patiently until she would tell him. But he dreaded to her what has made her this upset.

"Mai's not well…" Ayako tensed and continued shakily "She's in the advanced-stage of Lymphoma." The wind blew the rain harshly against the glass. "She needs a bone marrow transplant. She needs to receive the bone marrow from someone else. Approximately 30% of people who receives bone marrow from someone else…" she trails off. Bou-san didn't even try to hold back his tears. She had lost weight recently and when bugged her about it, she brushed him off saying that she was dieting for the summer. He didn't think much about it at the time but now…now that he knows the real reason he just couldn't stop the tears. Mai, who's like a daughter to him, might disappear from their little SPR family.


	8. Chapter 8

Naru arrived home; the place where he and Mai spent many moments together. He had asked her to move in with him. The idea that she was not living with him was…absurd in his mind. She refused saying that it didn't feel proper.

_ Why has she chosen to betray me? How long have they been together behind my back? Did Mai start having feelings for Lin after he let down the cold façade barrier?_

Despite being known amongst the group as the level-headed narcissist who deducted things logically, even he was taken for a ride when dealing with the heart. He can deduct and predict, but not control Mai; the one person who began to bring warmth to his life after so long, the one who made life almost bearable. This has become the most hurtful of things after losing Gene, fooled and mocked by an innocent façade; spat on by true love.

He felt weird. He wanted to go and fight Lin. He wanted to scream at Mai. He even wanted to cry! He got a pair of scissors and drew them across a cushion and threw it. The cushion emptied its inside in a cloud of feathers as it knocked a mirror to the ground, effectively smashing it. Naru was losing himself. It was an emotional roller coaster. It was tiring him out.

That night he slept restlessly.


	9. Chapter 9

Lin opened his front door allowing the smell of nice home cooked food waft through the door. It's the first time since he came to Japan that there was home cooked food in his flat. Mai was busying herself by the cooker when Lin got to the kitchen. She seemed so normal like nothing was wrong but…he stopped his train of thought when Mai caught sight of him and gave him one of her natural angelic smiles.

Lin felt warm, _just one more night, I'll love her one more night and then I'll give her back. Just tonight, let me believe that she's mine._ A prisoner of love was never applied to more accurate situation. No matter how much Lin always said that he would give up on her; he will never, his love for her was an addiction. He was going to be forever hers even when he marries another woman, he will never love her like he does Mai. But that's a story in the future. Mai had made simple dishes. She said she had already eaten without him but Lin knew she was lying.

"Food tastes better when people eat together. Won't you humour me and eat some with me."

Mai slowly set out another place at the table across from Lin, spread out the food on her dishes so it seemed like there was more. She didn't want to eat. She was confused. _I've hurt Naru, why do I not feel anything? Maybe it's because what I've done is for the better so they…cancel out…? But I've still hurt him... _She sat there picking at one or two grains of rice and bringing them slowly to her mouth. Lin could see that she didn't want to eat, but he could do nothing for her. So they sat in silence for the meal.

That night Lin stood outside the guest room hearing Mai cry herself to sleep. He clenched his fists knowing there was nothing he can do for her. He wanted to hit himself. _I'm here, but she doesn't notice that she's not alone. I'm here…even if I comfort you the way you want Naru to…you still wouldn't notice. Do I tell him? Would that lessen Mai's burden or hurt her more that I betrayed her? _ Lin opens the door so it's slightly ajar. Mai was shivering. Worried, he moved to her side. She was beginning to sweat, her fever returning and her breathing shallow. In a blind rush, Lin ran to his phone and called Ayako knowing that she'll answer.


End file.
